


all I wanted was you

by poetfrnk



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Gender Neutral MC - Freeform, I hope, MC is tired, MC just wants it to e n d, Maybe - Freeform, Possible Spoilers for secret ending 01 & 02, also sad, i'll decide that later, possible cheating, reset theory, spoilers for all routes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 16:39:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9245192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetfrnk/pseuds/poetfrnk
Summary: A typical reset theory in which the MC just wants it all to end, and hopefully after something new develops, it will.





	

**Author's Note:**

> so i had this idea while i was half asleep and was really, really marvelling over my love of Jumin Han. That last part will probably show up in the next chapter, if i decide for there to be a next chapter. i really hope you enjoy this unedited mess that was my story ^^

This was the longest time that they had lived through their life since they had downloaded that app. It was as if they were living in a fictional novel, because this had been something that only happened to fake characters, not them. They never in a million years thought that something this absurd would happen to them.

They had been incredibly naive to have listened to someone on some random app to go to an apartment to ask about a phone that they had found abroad.

Incredibly naive.

But they couldn’t complain about it. They had met some incredibly amazing people due to their trusting nature and naive tendencies.

What they could, and will complain about is how they seemed unable to stay with anyone for a long time.

Few lasted longer than others, and it never helped that they still loved each of them after their time together was over.

They had tried to gain all of their affection at the start, giving their nickname of MC to them, and playing the role of a ditsy and naive person- the naive part being the truth. They tried to gain their affection so they would trust them, and because they couldn’t stand it when people wouldn’t like them. It was easy. They knew how to cater to all of their needs, but she felt more strongly for one at certain points.

Their first was a small college boy named Yoosung Kim.

In the beginning they were a college student themself. It was only natural that they would click with someone who could be more closer to them, both in age and interests. 

Talking to him was a joy, when he wasn't comparing them to his dead cousin. But other than that, they fell in love with him. Not within the short time span of her joining the organization and the party, but in how he matured after the damage to his eye, and how he seemed to have grown up after the entire ordeal.

They were with him for three years and they were super happy about it. He had grown from how childish he used to be, and they were head over heels for him. 

Until one day, the other side of the bed was cold.

“Yoosung?” their groggy voice called out through their shared apartment. there was no answer. Perhaps he had left early to the hospital?

They finally opened their eyes and… Where were they? This wasn’t where they lived with Yoosung. However, this place seemed familiar. 

They had furrowed their eyebrows and stood up. This… this was their apartment from before they joined the RFA. How did they get back there? 

Maybe it was a dream? Yeah that explained it perfectly, it was a dream.

But it wasn’t.

They tried over and over again to be with Yoosung, but it never lasted. It always reset to the day they joined the charity organization, and nothing ever changed. Often, things would go wrong and they would be back at the start, earlier than they wished to be. 

They grew to love Yoosung as a friend, rather than a lover. They grew exhausted of trying to love him, but never being able to always be with him.

Next was Jaehee.

They had always thought of her as a friend- as someone who deserved better than they were given.

They had gotten to know her deeply throughout this timeline, and they desperately hoped that this would be where it stopped. 

They got to open their own coffee shop as partners, and then it was back to the start for MC.

They went for Zen next. 

They had had small feelings for him at the beginning, but they did love him. They loved everyone in the organization. They were tired of this happening, but they had hope that this was it- they always tried to have hope.

They helped him through his scandal, and they grew to love him as much as they had once loved Jaehee and Yoosung, who she could no longer think of as more than friends.

Becoming his manager was one of the funnest things that they had done. He was always so sweet to them, and they couldn’t help but fall further in love with him than they originally had been.

But it was all in vain. The very next day they were back at their old apartment, and they didn't stop crying.

They couldn't understand why this was happening to them. They had always been a good person before all of this. They had been happy and full of optimism and life. It had been years since they had started this damned loop. They were growing sick of it.

Jumin Han was their next try.

It sounds cruel when it was put that way, but they did like the man. They knew that there had to be more than what the others said about him. There just had to be. 

They had always thought that he was just what everyone else made him out to be. Perhaps they were as superficial as everyone else. As the first days went past, they saw themself in him. Trying to keep up a facade that others assumed was their real personality. They could relate now, after years of pretending to be happy around these people. Before, they went right along with teasing him, and dismissing everything about him. They felt terrible after actually getting to know him.

It wasn’t fair with Jumin. They only got to spend about three months with him before they were forced back to the start. They felt as though they had loved Jumin the most out of all the others by this point. They could see themself in him, more than they saw themself in the others. Well, except 707. 

After having reset from Jumin, they didn’t open the app. They ignored it. That didn't work either.

It was like this was fate or some bullshit like that. They were forced to live this life over and over again, never to escape.

Seven was their last. 

It was as if it was something entirely new. Seven was more than he showed on the messenger. They hurt when he ignored them, and yet, the entire time, he loved them back.

They lasted quite a long time.

MC learned the truth about everything, about his twin, about V and Rika. It changed everything in their eyes.

Eventually, they lived with Saeyoung and Saeran. It was blissfully happy for such a long time. They were always supportive with trying to get Saeran open up more, and for him to try and get better. 

They felt like a hypocrite when they tried to help. They were urging him to try and open up, and to trust both them and Saeyoung more. They never could follow their own advice for it, ever. 

They never knew if anyone knew about all of the timelines, and they never bothered to ask.

They could tell that Saeyoung knew that they were hiding something. They had never been that good of a liar, and Saeyoung was oddly perceptive.

One time, when Saeyoung had finished his work early and was able to be with them a while before they had to sleep, they asked him.

“Do you remember?”

“What?” he mumbled. He was half asleep already, and if he didn't remember all of the timelines, then they hoped he didn't remember this conversation.

“All the other times.” their voice was soft. “Before i was with you, before when i was with the others. But it always goes back to the first day. It always does in the end.”

“What’re you talking about?” their heart sank and he pulled them closer, resting his chin on their head. 

“Never mind. I love you, Saeyoung.”

“Love you too.”

They fell asleep and they were back at the beginning. 

They went back to Saeyoung whenever it restarted after that. He always seemed to last the longest. Years and years passing before they would wake up alone again.

Sometimes, when they couldn’t bear it anymore, they went back to the others. They tried desperately to find a meaning to this never ending cycle. 

The two they spent the most time with were Saeyoung and Jumin. 

They loved Saeyoung with all of their heart, but there was a part of them that loved Jumin, almost as much as Saeyoung.

\---

During a timeline with Saeyoung, something was different. 

After they were able to save Saeran, Saeyoung was always loving towards them. He was always acting as though they were the love of his life, and that he would never ignore them, or tell them to leave again.

He was pushing them away again. Just like he did in the first days they knew him. He would never come to bed with them, and he would constantly glare at them, and never gave them the time of day. It cut them straight to the core. They desperately wanted to believe that this wasn’t something that would happen again, or that it was something that he meant to do.

But the next time was the same.

They saved Saeran, they took him from the hospital, they got engaged. But after that he would push them away and snap at them.

They tried everything they could for him to love them again. Sometimes they got through to him, but more often than not, he would yell at them, telling them to leave him alone and that he would be better without them nagging them every few seconds.

Soon, they had enough. 

“Saeyoung~” they adopted the false happy persona that he had once loved, “I’m going to the store, do you want anything?” they got no reply. They tried to not be hurt from that. They went to their shared room to check the clothes that they had on. No trackers for once. They placed their phone on the bed, and then made their way to the door of the bunker.

“Where’re you going?”

For a split second, they wanted to believe that it was Saeyoung, but it wasn’t.

“Just to the store, I need to get some things. You want me to get you some sweets?” They gave Saeran a big smile that they hoped he couldn’t see through.

He studied them for a moment before nodding and walking off.

They quickly left the house and headed towards someone that they knew would let them come in and stay for a while. They hoped that they wouldn’t go back to the beginning from this. Maybe, just maybe, this was the right thing for them to do.


End file.
